So, this is my first blog. Here I will talk about things that more than likely "grind my gears" or just generally make me fed up with our society. This week, one of those wonderful things that focuses my ire came into my purview. I had some house guests from China who left an interesting (and bootleg) book on my coffee table. It was called "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom". Written by a Harvard law professor named Amy Chua, it showcases this "woman's" (and I use the term loosely) approach to rearing her two daughters. This approach is, shall we say, less than appropriate. Not only does she belittle her daughters, but she pushes a somewhat racist and elitist approach to child rearing. For example, her children have a variety of rules. Often redundant and repetitious, these rules force choices in cultural and social taste on the daughters that Mrs. Chua deems appropriate. She actually requires her children to play instruments like professional musicians, often invoking names like Yo Yo Ma as an example why her daughters should follow them. Her approach to enforcing this rule actually made me sick to my stomach. Forcing them to learn by rote, the young girls' lives are actually consumed by their mothers desire for them to become musicians. Mrs. Chua of course thinks she is doing a bang up job. Of course we only hear slight mentions of these girls' difficulties with regard to social interaction. The older sister, Sophia, has few friends and is at one point found always spending recess alone. It must be hard to make friends when you are not permitted to sleepover a friend's house( another rules) or do anything besides practice music. This cruelty that she perpetrated on her children will undoubtedly be something that created problems when her children go to college. Mrs. Chua obviously is not someone who is familiar with the maxim " too much of any one thing can be bad".
In actuality, this books is less a battle hymn and more a portrait of a control freak. Her parents controlled her and made sure that she forced herself into a professional career. Once she became a lawyer (who by the way hated being a lawyer), she found herself free to take control of her own life. For example, her parents told her that she should marry a Chinese man. As a "show of force" to her parents she married a Jewish American. Hilariously, she then rails against guys who have "yellow fever" and only date any Asian woman, not forgetting to mention that she was the first Asian woman her husband ever dated (yea fucking right!). This "personal exceptionalism" is common amongst control freaks. It is no wonder it permeated into her relationships with her daughter as she sought to control everything about them since they were born.
The author, however, is given a hard time by her younger daughter, Lulu. Lulu is to be commended for standing up to her cruel and ridiculous mother. In the face of unrelenting authority, Lulu (as the author admits) humbles her mother's Chinese approach to child rearing. From a young age Lulu shows her mother that authority can be faced down, eve as her mother threatens to lock her outside all night in the cold, East coast weather. There is also the episode when Lulu finally has enough of her "cunty" mother and screams at her and smashes a glass at a restaurant in Moscow. All of this simply proves, and should unequivocally how Mrs. Chua that unrelenting authority is not the answer. I find this ironic as this type of authority is exactly how the Chinese state treats its people. One would thin that Mrs. Chua, someone who left the authoritarianism of China would see the error in the way they go about modeling their society. Instead, she uses authoritarianism as her tool of oppression against her children.
There has been some backlash against this book, and rightfully so. Her approach to parenting is great is someone wants a socially backward automaton. I for one, do not want to be around anyone like her and if I ever meet her I am going to tell her she is wrong. I have seen the product of this style of parenting, and so have you. I am sure we have all seen the angry little Asian woman screaming and yelling at a store clerk over nothing, simply wanting nothing but her way. Our western parents may not have made us awesome at math or music, but I can guarantee these little females automatons that her mother intended to create are not the answer. Who would want to be around people who are only interested or dedicated to one thing, regardless of that thing. Variety is the splice of life Mrs. Chua, let your daughters embrace it. Furthermore, childhood is for enjoying yourself so that we do not become miserable little arguers (lawyers) like you. I hope soon the world stops listening to people who only know about being argumentative. Our whole fucking government is composed of these people who think authority is the way to get things done. As they often find out, people will rebel in the face of a control freak. Just ask Lulu, as she plays tennis instead of practicing violin.
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